First and foremost, I just want to say thank you to all of you who wished me a happy birthday yesterday via Facebook, Twitter & email yesterday. You guys sure know how to make a girl feel special.
It was certainly a happy birthday.
Some of you may remember but last spring, Hubs and I were pregnant. Last year this time – about a week before my birthday – I had a miscarriage. I wish I had some witty line to make it seem like it wasn’t that bad but it was quite devastating. I’ve wondered about sharing this story with you guys many times but it just didn’t feel right.
It was possibly one of, if not the MOST difficult things I have ever gone through. The pregnancy had gotten incredibly painful for the last 2 weeks because we discovered I had 2 fibroids – one which was 13cm (the size of a cantaloupe). A week later, I had to celebrate my birthday, which I really didn’t want to but my amazing friends came over and threw me a birthday brunch.
While I have always been a generally happy person, this was the strongest test of my happiness. I asked God many times why this had happened. I wondered if we could ever recover from this and quite honestly, I wondered if I would ever be as happy as I once was. Turns out, I am. A lot happier.
Nothing happens to us that we can’t handle. God just doesn’t work like that. Each day I made the choice to be happy – and allowed myself to have bad days. My nephews and nieces made me feel a lot better and when I see babies, I am beaming. It wasn’t always like that though, but crying every single day over one of the “downs” of your life really makes you miss the inevitable “ups”. I’m completely healthy – even with fibroids, I’ve had the best professional year of my life, I have mentors (…plural) and a husband who blows me away daily because of how much he loves me.
All to say, I have a lot to be happy about. Quite frankly, while last year was devastating it also built my character. I learned that I’m not easily broken and that at the end of the day, regardless of our trials, my happiness is my choice. I choose it, daily, and will continue to until the day I die.
So was it a happy birthday? Abso-freakin-lutely.