You do the math. When you invest in something, you expect some sort of profit. It’s a very basic concept. You put something in, you get something out.

When people confide in me from friends – new and old – to acquaintances I see sporadically and there’s always a common theme: relationships. Not just about your typical quote-unquote love, but instead how to take control and get what you want. The thing is…you ALWAYS have control of your relationship you just have to make the choice on whether or not you want to take it.

As women, we let our emotion do the controlling of us instead of the other way around because of feelings. “Oh, he makes me laugh…well, she’s a nice friend…oh, the sex is good…” But at some point, rational decisions have to be made.

Heard of the saying, “calculated risk”? Well in relationships “calculated emotion” needs to be applied. Relationships have to add up because there are two sides: give and take. No one just listens to the left speaker of the stereo do they? Of course not. There has to be balance. It’s the same thing with people in relationships.

It won’t work with give, give, give or take, take, take. It just doesn’t add up. If you find yourself in a situation like this you have to calculate your emotions. Don’t make someone a priority when they’re only willing to make you an option.

Are you getting anything out of the other person by investing yourself in this relationship? Are you giving too much of yourself? Maybe not enough?

Balance it out to make it work, whether it’s with your long term boyfriend, a guy you’re just seeing or even a selfish sibling.

Two plus two will never be five, just like give plus give (or take + take) will never equal a functional relationship. So calculate your emotions: give plus take always equals a healthy, balanced relationship. Just make the choice to take control of playing both parts of the equation and choosing someone who will do the same.

Hey. No one said math was easy.